Who would accept thought that a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" would become one of the funniest sitcom icons in Tv history? Jason Alexander was robbed of an Emmy win multiple times while spending 9 years playing Jerry Seinfeld'due south neurotic best friend George Costanza, a grapheme known for his horrible bad luck and questionable life decisions. Fan adoration and massive critical acclaim go along to requite credit where credit is due, however.

Entertainment Weekly named George Costanza the tertiary-all-time sidekick ever. Goggle box Guide named him the 10th greatest tv set character of all time. Ricky Gervais chosen him "arguably the greatest sitcom character of all fourth dimension." It could accept something to do with a hilarious writing team that gave the grapheme and then many wonderful quotes throughout the years. This list has been updated to showcase 15 of the nigh iconic throughout Seinfeld's amazing 9-yr run.

Updated on Jan 10th, 2021 past Derek Draven: As mentioned above, nosotros've decided to add a few more quotes to this list for a one thousand total of 15. Each one showcases the mixture of writing and acting talent that helped bring George Costanza to life. Some of these quotes took place in the moment, while others have links to the cultural and social lexicon. Seinfeld continues to run in heavy repeat syndication across multiple networks, giving existing audiences and new generations of viewers the run a risk to laugh along at the hilarious misfortunes of one of comedy's most lively and energetic characters. Behold, the Lord of the Idiots in all his majesty.

15 "Squirrel? Well, We Accept No Deal With Them!"

George had been living by an unwritten lawmaking forged betwixt New Yorkers, and the pigeons that dwelt within. Pigeons got out of the way of cars, and New Yorkers looked the other way on the statue defecations. Imagine his surprise when a grouping of pigeons refused to become out of the way, causing George to run them all over.

Already in the doghouse with his girlfriend because of the incident, George took it upon himself to purposely swerve out of the fashion of a pigeon when they adjacent rode together. Unfortunately, he failed to spot a nearby squirrel which he ran over instead.

fourteen "Yous Should've Seen The Look On Her Confront! Information technology Was The Same Look My Father Gave Me When I Told Him I Wanted To Be A Ventriloquist!"

Desperate to impress a very intellectual woman, George asked Elaine to have his I.Q. exam for him so he could fake a good consequence. Unfortunately, a series of mishaps caused Elaine to mess the test up and crusade his score to collapse to an unimaginable 85.

George came back to Jerry'south place to confront Elaine on the disaster, uttering this hilarious quote that left audiences in stitches at the mental pictures. Luck, it seems, was never on George's side to brainstorm with.

xiii "Oh Noooooo! I'yard So Lamentable, It's The MOOPS! The Right Answer Is 'The Moops.'"

This quote comes courtesy of what some believe to exist i of the show'southward most overrated episodes. George and Susan found themselves on the doorstep of a beloved young human being known affectionately as "the Bubble Boy" by the local community, due to his demand to stay in a protective bubble at all times. Unfortunately, the Bubble Male child was a complete jerk, and both he and George were similar oil and water.

After sitting down to play an unfriendly game of lilliputian pursuit, George became irate that he was losing. A chance moment to get revenge came when George pulled a carte request who invaded Spain during the 8th century. The Bubble Male child correctly answered "the Moors," but George was all-too-happy to take advantage of a misprint on the card which read "Moops," instead.

12 "You're Giving ME The 'It's Not You, It'southward Me' Routine? I INVENTED 'It's Not You lot, It's Me'!"

George was such a loser that he really took pride in being dumped. An instance occurred when his frustrated girlfriend bankrupt upwardly with him by giving him the classic "it'southward not y'all, it'due south me" line. So insulted was George that he came down difficult on her for daring to employ an excuse he himself had used so many times before.

Unwilling to be lied to, George insisted that it wasn't in fact her but himself who was the trouble. When she finally acknowledged that it was, in fact, George, he replied "You're damn right information technology's me!"

11 "I'm Disturbed, I'thou Depressed, I'k Inadequate – I've Got It All!"

George Costanza has gone to corking lengths on many occasions to convince women that he's a normal, well-adapted guy in order to get dates, but the one time he actually managed it, she turned out to be more interested in the kind of depressed loser that he actually was in his everyday life.

Realizing that Jerry's fun-loving comedy persona was a major striking with the ladies, George forced him to act like a depressed killjoy in order to make himself look better. The plan backfired when George'south appointment found herself incredibly attracted to Jerry's night and disturbed false persona. Panicking, George shouted this quote in a desperate attempt to convince her that he was actually the disturbed and depressed 1.

10 "Oh, No, Thanks. I Tin't Drink Coffee Tardily At Night. It Keeps Me Up."

The flavour 2 episode "The Phone Bulletin" found an aroused George leaving a series of irate messages on a woman's answering machine after she stopped returning his calls. Unfortunately, he failed to realize she was on vacation at the fourth dimension. His next programme is to erase the tape before she gets a chance to hear it, to hilarious upshot.

It all started when she invited George up for coffee, to which he replied with this quote. It didn't have long for him to realize his mistake. "She invites me upward at twelve o'clock at nighttime, for coffee, and I don't become upward. 'No, thank you. I don't want coffee. Information technology keeps me upwards. Likewise late for me to beverage coffee.' I said this to her. People this stupid shouldn't be immune to live."

9 "Nosotros Accept Watched You Have Our Beloved Yankees And Reduce Them To A Laughing Stock!"

In the hilarious and iconic episode "The Opposite," George decides to practise the opposite of every i of his natural bumbling instincts. When he interviews for a job at the Yankees and meets George Steinbrenner, he launches into a rant that would usually tank anyone else's employment chances. George pulls no punches equally he tells Steinbrenner exactly what's on his mind.

Plainly, the opposite motion turned out to the be correct one after Steinbrenner replied "Hire this human being!" It was yet another goal for George's win streak up to that point. What a shame it wouldn't last long earlier he went back to his old neurotic self.

viii "I Know I'm Not Cartwright!"

The network executives initially weren't certain about season ii'due south "The Chinese Restaurant" episode, but it would later become one of Seinfeld's most memorable. Sure, it's just about the characters waiting for a table in a restaurant, simply that'due south par for the course on a show about aught. While waiting for a telephone telephone call from a woman, the waiter at the restaurant informs him that she had chosen and asked for "Costanza," merely he replied "Cartwright" instead.

What follows is a hilarious commutation between George and Jerry talking about the waiter who answered the phone and called out the name Cartwright. Jerry asks, "Who's Cartwright?" George says, "I'yard Cartwright." Jerry says, "Y'all're not Cartwright." Finally, George cries out, "I know I'm not Cartwright!" in true Abbott and Costello fashion.

7 "Was That Incorrect? Should I Not Accept Done That?"

In the episode "The Blood-red Dot," George a job at the aforementioned office Elaine works at. Within a few days, he decides to take sex with the cleaning woman on pinnacle of his own desk in 1 of the show'due south most questionable dating choices. A series of unfortunate events leads her to spill the beans to George'southward new boss, Mr. Lippman.

Realizing he's virtually to be fired, George goes for bankrupt with this quote before adding, "I tell ya, I gotta' plead ignorance on this affair, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here, that that sort of thing was frowned upon, y'all know...'cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you, people exercise that all the time!"What comes next is no surprise.

6 "It's Not A Lie If You Believe It."

George Costanza is a master fibber, but he finds it difficult to go along up and choreograph his deceits when other people are involved. For example, Susan ends upwardly thinking George is having an affair because Elaine couldn't get the lie most what they were really doing straight.

When Jerry took a lie detector examination after his policewoman girlfriend refused to believe he'd never seen an episode of Melrose Place, George realized he couldn't teach him how to prevarication. He did, nonetheless, offering him one fantastically immoral snippet of wisdom: "Information technology's not a lie if you believe information technology!"

5 "The Body of water Was Angry That Twenty-four hours, My Friends! Like An Old Man Trying To Send Back Soup In A Deli!"

The whole monologue at the end of "The Marine Biologist" is a classic moment that is delivered brilliantly by Jason Alexander. It all starts when Jerry makes the hilarious fault of conjuring upwards a faux story nigh George in gild to print an former schoolhouse flame that involves him being (of all things) a Marine Biologist.

Naturally, George's bad luck comes calling when they stumble across a oversupply of people surrounding a beached whale. Information technology's upward to "Marine Biologist" George Costanza to salve the twenty-four hour period. Although his would-be girlfriend tells him to "go to Hell" later on learning about the prevarication, George was left with the mother of all fish stories to wow his friends with.

four "Worlds Are Colliding!"

Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship tin relate to George'due south "Worlds are colliding!" theory. 1's circle of friends and partner seem completely separate, and if they're together in the same room, information technology tin can be awkward. Information technology really is similar worlds are colliding – a perfectly apt metaphor.

Information technology's even worse if worlds are colliding in a good mode, such as when Elaine and Susan become pals. If Susan joined George'south friendship group and started hanging around with Jerry and Elaine, "relationship George" would accept had to merge with "independent George," leading to the demise of the latter.

3 "Only You Are, Blanche! You Are In The Shackles!"

In the episode "The Drome," as George gets to the final magazine on the shelf before a bedevilled criminal (who is photographed on the cover), he channels Bette Davis in the motion picture What Ever Happened to Babe Jane?. In the film, there's a moment where Blanche tells Jane, "You wouldn't exist able to do these awful things to me if I weren't still in this chair," and Jane gleefully replies, "But yous are, Blanche! Yous are in that chair!"

Similarly, the criminal tells George, "If I wasn't in these shackles..." and George – in the aforementioned gleeful tone as Davis' Jane – replies, "But you are, Blanche! Yous are in the shackles!"

2 "Oh Yeah? Well, The Jerk Store Called. They're Running Out Of YOU!"

Everyone tin relate to George in the flavor 8 episode "The Improvement." Afterward beingness insulted past a co-worker for his ravenous devouring of all the shrimp in the coming together, he struggles to devise the perfect improvement for their adjacent fateful encounter.

Eventually, he settles on "Oh, yeah? Well, the jerk store chosen. They're running out of you lot!" Non merely is it a weak comeback, but it's pummeled into submission by his nemesis' adjacent respond which completely deflates what little bear upon it had to begin with, leaving George feeling more humiliated than ever.

1 "Please, A Lilliputian Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots."

In an early episode of Seinfeld, George tries out a social experiment by wearing a wedding ring to see if it makes him more than approachable to women. He ends upwardly missing out on a friends-with-benefits situation, plus courtside seats to every sporting event at Madison Square Garden. Throughout the episode, Jerry and George accept been arguing over who'due south the bigger idiot.

This is i of the quotes that led Mike Costanza – Jerry Seinfeld's old friend who the grapheme was named subsequently – to sue NBC and merits that his name had been slandered by existence depicted as, among other things, the "lord of the idiots." Ouch.

NEXT: 10 Things Seinfeld Did Ameliorate Than Friends

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Ben Sherlock (3458 Articles Published)

Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, contained filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He's currently in pre-production on his starting time feature (and has been for a while, considering filmmaking is expensive). You can take hold of him performing standup at odd pubs effectually the United kingdom that volition give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Volume Resources, and BabbleTop.

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